The Nothing Box

When I need to turn off my overactive, “ideaphoric” mind, I happily enter the “Nothing Box.” It still amazes Linda that when I drift off into a peaceful silence and she asks me what I am thinking, I literally can respond, “Nothing.”

Like many guys, I am a single-focus guy, being quite content to be “in the zone” accomplishing a sole task at a time. (However, I can enjoy a great sandwich while watching a western…but that is as close as I get to multi-tasking!) When too many “balls are in the air,” I, like most men, flee to my Nothing Box to take a break…like hitting the pause button on our DVR.

It took Linda a while to understand that there are times when I can truly be thinking of nothing. This could be as a mental pause. And sometimes—quite honestly— I am just peacefully restive while cognizant of everything going on around me. But without the necessity to solve the next crisis, keep the latest deal in process, or plan my next e-mail. For men, often nothing truly means nothing.

However, particularly for Linda and maybe most women, the “nothing box” could actually be a “something box”—and a big one at that. When I am quiet in my special place, I truly am content. On the exceedingly rare occasions when Linda enters her nothing box…a.k.a. when I ask her if something is bothering her and she responds with “nothing”, I know there is something I have done wrong. And I have learned to leave her alone until she is ready to come out and talk.

So, if you sense that your wife or significant other may be upset, and he or she is in his/her not-so-positive “nothing box”, let him or her alone. He or she will come out when ready. It says in James 1:19 that we “should be quick to listen and slow to anger”.

Going into your Nothing Box can be a great time to process and pray so that you respond in a relationally healthy manner rather than impulsively responding with words you cannot take back.