Four Steps to Discover Rest

We’ve been talking about rest this month.  Yesterday a friend called to ask me how I find time to rest, knowing my many and varied responsibilities. I told her I never find the time; I have to make the time. And that’s the truth. We all can make the time but there’s a process.

Step 1- Recognize You Need Rest- Do you notice you’re forgetting things lately…simple things? That often has nothing to do with age but everything to do with frantic schedules and demands. When our responsibilities become too much, we begin to forget little things. It’s a sure sign rest is needed.

Or, do you notice you’re simply not enjoying the things in life you used to cherish? You just don’t feel “up for them?” Life doesn’t seem fun anymore.  This is another sure sign you are in rest (and probably sleep) deprivation.

Step 2- Eliminate Everything Extraneously Unimportant- Choose a quiet moment whether it’s waiting in the school pick up line, or hiding out in the bathroom and jot down your ongoing responsibilities…those things necessary to run a house, be a wife or Mom… necessary to everyday life. And don’t leave out anything…laundry, preparing meals, or cleaning house. So often we fail to realize that these mundane daily chores take time and they count when we estimate how much energy remains for other commitments.

Now list the additional commitments you’ve made. Really consider these carefully. Choose to make the hard decision. Sure, you will probably need to let someone down when you return to tell them “No” is necessary. But though it hurts to admit, you are only indispensable to your family. And rest is about your health and well-being. The only way to be truly present and completely attentive for those you love (and for those involved in the commitments you retain after extraneous responsibilities are eliminated), is to be rested. So remove any commitment that is draining you and stressing you out.

Step 3- Give Yourself Permission to Rest- Whether guilt, the need to prove yourself to someone else or yourself, the desire to feel needed or valued, or whatever drives you to perform rather than rest, identify this emotion. Then recognize that God, the One who knows you best, literally commands you to rest. It’s interesting that God tells His people (and we who are His people in Christ) to take a Sabbath rest regardless of busyness. “Six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest, even during the planting season and harvest you must rest.”(Exodus 23:21). Planting and harvest were imperative to their livelihood, yet God told them even these did not provide excuses for neglecting to rest.

Now look at Jesus who “would withdraw to desolate places to pray,” ( Luke 5:15).  Talk to yourself. Lovingly knock some reason into that stubborn brain that refuses to believe rest is necessary or possible. I use the expression, “Give yourself permission…” That works for me after a lifetime raised by a mother consumed with a German work ethic. I choose to give myself permission to rest.

Step 4- Finally, enjoy the rest.  This may be harder to master. Since you haven’t rested in so long, you may have forgotten what moments and activities bring you rest and contentment. Is it reading a book? Filling in a crossword puzzle? Having coffee with a friend? Walking through the park? Try different things and ask yourself, ‘”How did this make me feel?” If “rested” is not your answer, then look for a different way to rest next time. And block these times of rest into your weekly schedule. Yes, you can do it…even if it means early before daylight.

I remember when my children were young, I changed a guest room into a “rest” room where I could relax, read the Bible and pray long before daylight hours while they slept. It may take time, but you can choose to rearrange your life to give yourself the rest and refreshment you need. Try it! You’ll be glad you did!

MAY 28, 2019COMMENT