Healthy Relationship Hack #4 – Changing Perspective
“But it’s our Date Night!,” I thought. I looked forward to this weekly tradition particularly since the Pandemic struck. Throughout our days, Reen busily worked in one room of our home while I worked in another. Thankfully, we shared meals, but getting out of the house and taking time to talk and connect was something I awaited with great anticipation every week. Recognizing my frustration at the possibility of missing Date Night, Reen agreed to alter his schedule and respect our cherished time together. I was grateful.
Why is Date Night so important? It not only gives us a set time to connect without distraction, offering our undivided attention to each other, but it also provides the opportunity every week to refresh our perspective.
It’s amazing how routines, though good for creating a sense of stability, can also cause you to get into a mental rut. You begin to see everything from the same perspective and lose the ability to evaluate life and think creatively. Every life has challenges and problems. Getting into the car and taking off an afternoon in a nearby town, enjoying a mini-vacation, or even planning an extended trip to a different location, allows you to be mentally lifted out of everyday responsibilities and clear your mind. Some people hike, window shop, sit on a park bench, or walk their downtown area.
Whatever way you break out of your environment to free your mind and provide new perspective offers you and your spouse, friend or partner a “reset,” in your relationship. It enables you to discuss issues in a fresh way, that provides refreshment and renewed energy.
7 Steps to Gain Perspective:
- Make an intentional decision to leave your house or office behind and take a mental break.
- Invite a trusted friend, spouse, or partner to join you…someone you want to build a stronger relationship with by sharing new conversations.
- Choose to share an experience together you both enjoy that frees your mind of normal concerns and life issues (go to the movies, share a meal, take a walk, sit by the water, play a game, etc.).
- Pray together and ask God for wisdom as you begin to discuss some of the things that you currently find difficult. God promises, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” Another Bible translation explains it this way, “If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.” (James 1:5-8)
- Share the issues you’ve found challenging…how to schedule your work to meet deadlines, how to lovingly discipline your children, how to get a job that better provides for the family…any perplexing problem that seems unsolvable.
- Listen carefully to the other person’s thoughts and insights on the subject as you both take turns talking with each other about the issue.
- Summarize any new discoveries or agree to table the conversation for consideration and future discussion.
We can live life bogged down or begin each day with renewed hope and anticipation. God encourages us to seek a new perspective and open our mind to fresh ways of looking at life. One of my favorite things God says is, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19).
Sometimes our challenges and problems can cause us to feel like we are lost in the wilderness, but God stands ready to offer a fresh way of looking at our concerns. He, often with the new perspective offered by a friend, can provide solutions we never thought of and opportunities we never imagined…and it may be through this deepening of our relationship that we hear Him clearly speak.
Try it today!
