Make a Friend: Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Isn’t it amazing after participating in women’s groups most of your life in organizations and church, deciding to join a new group of women can still be difficult? Stepping out of my comfort zone in this continues to be a problem because as those who know me best are aware, I am actually an introvert!!

But, moving to a new area causes this to be imperative if I am to become part of my new community and make friends. Yes, I do facilitate two women’s groups across the nation by Zoom of dear friends, but who can I invite to “do lunch,” or check out a highly recommended “chick flick,” or wander a new department store’s Grand Opening? And I certainly don’t want to walk through the Farmer’s Market or Craft Fair by myself. Someone to share this with would be so much more fun.

Here are my tips for joining new groups to make friends:

1. Google area activities and groups of those with similar interests on MeetUp.com.
2. Check out the group on their website to identify if they share your interests and values.
3. Determine if the time, date, and location fit your schedule.
4. Just do it!
5. When you arrive, smile. Watch how the group functions. Take a seat. Look around and decide if this is a group where friends might be found.
6. Listen more than speak the first few times.
7. Strike up a conversation with just one person if that is all the courage you have…one is better than none.
8. In your conversation, learn about them and see if you have shared interests.
9. Ask for their business card or agree to meet next time and then look for them when you come a second time.
10. Do this only two or three times and you will arrive at a comfort level that tells you whether this is a group you want to become a part of permanently or not. If so, agree to meet for coffee with one or two women. If not, start the process over again.

Whatever you do, don’t stay home lonely. You are never alone. God is always with you. He will give you the courage to step outside your comfort zone and reach out to a world who needs the gifts and talents, love and friendship you have to share. And you need them, too.