Who’s Your Wingman?

Hi, guys! I LOVE a good action movie! Being a military history buff and a former Army officer, I really enjoy true war stories like Hacksaw Ridge. As I am writing this column, I eagerly anticipate seeing the new Korean war movie, Devotion. This movie is the true story of Jesse Brown, the first African American aircraft carrier pilot.

The movie is about two pilots who are “wingmen” devoted to each other. Much like the infantry “foxhole buddy,” wingmen take care of each other. They risk their lives for each other. Many times, a soldier or pilot will honestly tell you that the reason he fought was not for the folks back home… but for their foxhole buddy or wingman.

If the military places such strong emphasis on developing these buddy relationships to keep guys alive… why don’t we? In the Army, the prestigious Ranger School pairs soldiers up as “Ranger Buddies” to help get them through this grueling sixty-two-day school that flunks over half of the soldiers who attempt it. This is strong validation that we guys need someone to back us up, cover our areas of weakness, and support us in time of need. And we need to reciprocate.

So, who is your wingman or foxhole buddy? Who is there to “cover your six”(your unprotected rear)? The shortfall of many a man is that he has no close friends or buddies. I love what Proverbs 17:17 says about this, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” A good name for a true foxhole buddy or wingman is a “2 A.M. friend”. This is a guy you can call at any time and he’ll be there for you.

Pastor Al McCausland of The Road Church often says, “If you need six to eight guys to carry you out at your funeral, what would it be like to have those same guys rally around you in close friendship while you are alive?” It’s never too late to plug into a men’s group, attend a retreat, or simply walk up to a man you see every week and invite him out to lunch.

It just takes intentionality. I’ll be transparent here and share that at sixty-one, I have not had many close male friends. But I am working at it now! I have six guys around the country I regularly call and talk with to stay in touch. I’m now a table leader at a men’s breakfast and am connecting at an area men’s monthly luncheon.

It all comes down to personal responsibility. If you want to have a friend, you must first be a friend. This won’t happen automatically and takes initiating. Reach out to a guy. Follow up and if it takes a little persistence to get your schedule in sync, it’s a small price to pay! You’ll be glad you did…and so will your new wingman.