Top 20 Tips for “Your Refreshed Marriage” #6-10
Successful relationships take time, nurture, and intentional care. Marriage is no exception and possibly the most difficult because it requires 24/7 attention. But there is nothing more rewarding on this earth than a marriage partnership shared with God. A wise man once wrote, “And though one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” God represents the third strand and when He is present miracles can happen!
So this month we are focused on relationships and how we can “refresh” those that may have grown tarnished or possibly neglected. Check out tips #1-5 at www.yourrefreshedlife.com).
Here are tips #6-10:
1. Respond, don’t react.
All relationships include moments of disagreement, and some can escalate quickly to anger. How can you change this pattern? When disagreements arise, whether often encountered or rarely visited, attempt to discuss the issue in an unemotional manner stating facts and ideas without blaming or accusing. If it seems this is simply not going to work, take 30. Agree together if the potential for anger seems eminent, that before voices raise and emotions soar, you will each walk away.
Take a 30 minute “pause” to calm down. Leave the room. Take a walk. Pray. And then come back together with a desire to reach a positive conclusion rather than “to win” an argument. If someone wins, then someone loses. If a couple can have a shared win, that is true success. One couple actually takes the 30 minutes to write down their concerns and thoughts so they can read it objectively to one another when they reconvene.
2. Never Forget: Women Want to be Cherished. Men Want Respect.
Women and men need different things in a relationship. Johnny and Lara Fernandez, marriage coaches write, “Women: Be respectful and kind to your man and he will cherish you. Men: Cherish and be kind to your woman and she will respect you. Win-win!
3. Date Night “ No No’s”
One of the best things you can do for your marriage is “time-block” a Date Night each week. Reen and I have chosen Friday evening when the work week comes to a close. You can choose any night that works best for your schedule, but the key is to keep that night “untouchable.” No matter what, apart from a complete emergency, you and your children know this is the night Mom and Dad spend together alone. Michael Bloombery, the “Romance CEO” says there are 5 “No’s” that should be maintained during Date Night conversation- No bills. No exes. No work. No in-laws. No kids.
4. Do Not Criticize Your Spouse in Public.
Be your spouse’s best friend. Don’t say or do anything that would embarrass or humiliate them either in public or private. Don’t be a spouse who talks about his wife or her husband behind his/her back. “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing” is a great rule of thumb in all relationships. Trust me. People will respect you more for it and your friend or spouse will know you’ve “got their back.” Instead, praise often in public and private. Build up, don’t tear down.
5. Spice Up Your Life
Do you find yourself doing the “same old, same old?” Break open the trap. Spice up your life. Take dance lessons. Try a new sport together. Visit a quaint town you’ve never seen. Learn to paint. “Refresh” your activities and discover new things about each other all over again!
Learn five more “Top 20 Tips for Your Refreshed Marriage” next week!
