Learning to Say “No”

I often share my story of being diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Disease. Through that experience, I felt God told me to stop everything so I could evaluate my committed responsibilities. It became clear that He wanted me to determine if these commitments were His will for my life or my “over-exaggerated sense of responsibility” (as one counselor defined my condition).

Through that experience God taught me three specific things which I will be sharing with you this month. When on vacation shortly after my diagnosis, during the Sunday sermon a preacher explained what became Lesson One from God: When we take on responsibilities that God never intended for us, we are actually robbing someone else of being in God’s will for his or her life. This became a completely new paradigm for me!

For example, after my diagnosis I told everyone I was taking a sabbatical from all my responsibilities, except caring for my family. With a newborn, this seemed fine with everyone…until the programs I spear-headed at the church were disbanded, due to a lack of leadership.

I will never forget, one young Mom came to me and asked when the small group Bible study for Moms would begin again. I said, “I don’t know when I might be able to do this,” and added, “but maybe you could consider leading it.” She looked shocked. I continued, “Why don’t you pray about it? If the Lord leads you to say ‘Yes’, then great, we’ll start again. If the Lord doesn’t give you a peace about doing it, then please tell me “No” and we can begin praying together for the person He may want to lead it.”

I quickly learned as my first lesson throughout this journey, that saying “Yes” to something simply because we see a need, is not necessary God’s will for us. He gives us an internal peace about doing something if it is His desire. Otherwise, we need to pray He causes someone else to step forward.

We all need to seek God as to His will for our lives so we don’t spend life in what could be eternally meaningless pursuits. God’s will for our lives can only be discovered through fellowship with God, listening to hear His voice as we read His Word, receiving counsel from other Christians we trust, and then watching to see how He orchestrates our circumstances.

By the way, the young woman came to me a week later and took the position of leadership with the Bible Study. She did a phenomenal job, obviously gifted and talented by God to teach and encourage young Moms. It proved another confirmation to me that I was on the right track in hearing from God about busyness and His will for my life.

As a result, I never ask anyone to do anything without asking each to pray first to be certain it is God’s will for him or her. Not only did it free me to discover God’s will for my life but enabled me to inspire others to find God’s will for theirs.

When we grow weary, often it is because of our own problem saying “Yes” to those things God never intended for us to do. If you also suffer from an “exaggerated sense of responsibility,” take time with God today to begin evaluating your commitments. Discover his will for your life today!