Four Keys to Personal Renewal: Renewing Your Marriage
Hi, Dear Readers, Linda and I hope you are doing great! This month we are focusing on renewal and this week we center on renewing your marriage. After our faith in Christ, what can be more important than our marriage?
We’ve all heard that Christians have as bad or worse a divorce rate as non-Christians. BUT this is NOT true. In fact, couples who are both involved in church and spiritual practices have a 30%-50% less chance of divorcing than people with no faith or who do not attend church!
Glenn Stanton, the Director for Family Formation studies at Focus on the Family wrote in the Baptist Press, “Couples who regularly practice any combination of serious religious behaviors and attitudes — attend church nearly every week, read their Bibles and spiritual materials regularly; pray privately and together; generally take their faith seriously, living not as perfect disciples, but serious disciples — enjoy significantly lower divorce rates than mere church members, the general public and unbelievers.”
This makes perfect sense because the closer you each draw to God, the closer you draw to each other. Linda and I can attest to this because, during the last 17 years of our 20-year marriage, we have endured what few may ever face in transition and change. As we’ve followed the Lord Jesus’ direction for our lives, like Paul’s missionary journeys, we have moved 15 times in 17 years. Let me tell you, moving is NOT fun!
And many marriages would never survive the stress of these experiences. But recognizing this potential strain on our marriage, we invested deeply in our walk with Christ and our marriage. We have a closer walk with God and a richer marriage than most, even those who will never endure these challenges.
Here are ten action steps to renew your marriage:
1. Spend time daily with God. Quietly take time to read God’s Word, talk with Him in prayer, and listen intently to hear His response to your needs and concerns.
2. Meditate on God’s Word. Reflect on His Word and memorize Bible verses. Allow them to soak deeply into your mind, heart, soul, and marriage.
3. Attend church and spiritual events together. Join a small group focused on God’s Word as His instruction for life and “do life” together with other couples.
4. Pray together—aloud—daily. Pray for your spouse daily.
5. Serve your spouse and serve others together. Responding to the needs and concerns of your spouse over yourself causes you to grow in kindness and compassion, thoughtfulness, and love…essential keys to a healthy marriage. Serving others together is a bonding experience as you share this sense of giving and caring for others.
6. Attend a marriage conference. It’s amazing the insights about your marriage and the way you relate to one another that can be discovered in a marriage conference. And practical tips for a better relationship can be life changing.
7. Determine to say only words that build up and not tear down. Is what you have to say thoughtful and helpful? If not, don’t say it.
8. Learn how to disagree productively. There are healthy ways to handle conflict. At times, when things were really tough, Linda and I would remind each other we’re on the same team. Stop playing the “Blame Game” and instead objectively identify and solve the problem together. If you need counseling, GET IT! It can help you clear hurdles you can’t get past on your own. And don’t wait until the offenses create permanent walls and barriers that take years to tear down. Get help now!
9. Don’t major on the minor. Often it’s the little things that can destroy a marriage…the way he leaves his socks on the floor rather than in the hamper…the way she takes longer to get ready and is often late. Do you love this person? Than let the small things go and remember you love this person and all these other offenses are trivial in light of your love for God and each other.
10. Forgive as Christ forgave you.
Here’s a great marriage prayer from Crosswalk.com: Heavenly Father, please unify our hearts under Your loving authority and bring us together like never before. Lord, as life pulls at us and demands our time and energy, help us prioritize time together. We need Your presence in our marriage – Your constant presence of love, joy, and peace. As we schedule date nights, getaways, and times to reconnect, please remind us of the hope we have in You – hope for our future together.
As Romans 5:5 says, “Hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Thank You, Father, for uniting us in Your love. Bind us together in perfect harmony and strengthen us for the journey ahead. In Jesus’ holy name, amen.
