Seven Truth Wives Need to Know
Husbands and wives are very different creatures, and the Lord God wired us differently. Here are a few things you may not know about your husband and that he might never say but would greatly enhance your relationship. God gives us direction about every aspect of our lives so hopefully, these verse will also encourage you as you work to better understand and love your husband.
- The “Nothing Box” is real. Sometimes when Reen and I travel I look over at him wondering what he is thinking. He hasn’t spoken in some time and seems far away. When I ask what he’s thinking about he says, “Nothing.” Ladies, though we can’t understand it because our minds never stop, men really can think about nothing. Silence isn’t always a problem. It doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong or that he’s upset. Sometimes he genuinely just needs to decompress. There is no hidden agenda or buried resentment. He just needs a mental break.
“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
- Appreciation tops perfection. Have you noticed that we as wives are quick to notice small imperfections in your husband’s ideas, words, or actions? Rather than begin so quickly to correct or redo what he has done, how about saying “thank you for trying.” Feeling seen and valued for what he does accomplish spurs him on much more than criticism of what he doesn’t. Respect is the greatest gift you can give your husband.
“Do not let unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs.” Ephesians 4:29
- He can’t always decipher what you’re thinking. When your husband asks, “what’s wrong?” and you say “nothing,” he often believes you. He takes it at face value not because he doesn’t care, but because he genuinely struggles to interpret indirect signals. Direct communication is a gift to him.
“Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” Matthew 5:37
- Being a good provider and protector is paramount. It’s important for his self- worth to feel competent in caring for you and your family, even in today’s modern relationships. Most men carry a deep, quiet pressure to feel capable. Subtle put-downs, sarcasm, eyerolling, and even jokes about his abilities can hit him harder than he admits to you.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25
- He needs friendship, not only partnership. Reen is great at making me laugh and I love that about him. Not every conversation needs to be about business, work, the day’s crowded schedule, or serious issues. Your husband wants to laugh with you, be playful, and just hang out, as they say. Lighthearted connection is a gift that recharges him and strengthens your relationship.
“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Proverbs 17:22
- Physical affection, separate from sex, still matters. I know one of Reen’s love languages is touch and that is true of most men. Stopping to take his face in my hands and kiss him, holding hands, laying a hand on his shoulder, a hug, or simply sitting close on the couch tells him he’s loved and desired in a way that may be more powerful than words.
“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” Song of Solomon 6:3
- Though he rarely says it aloud, he worries, too. Money, the kids, the future, whether he’s doing enough. All these things plagued his mind, too. He often carries anxiety silently because he feels it’s his job to be the strong and stable one. Knowing you see that weight and appreciate he cares and is carrying it, means a lot.
Cast all your anxiety on hm because he cares for you.” I Peter 5:7
